Lifestyle, More Than Just Coffee

More than just coffee…

More Than Just Coffee

In life people come and go. They fall into our lives for a season, reason, or lifetime. Can be quite difficult to distinguish, but the bible says to guard your heart. Listen and watch very careful at who comes into your life. We can’t get to attach to people immediately. And we can’t make people stay permanently if they’re only temporary. We have to stop forcing people into longevity. This applies to relationships as well. There is always a purpose to interaction. At times, the front and back door must remain open. When their time is up, its over, goodbye. Don’t get to attached to people when they remain on the surface, never wanting to search for substance.

I’d like to refer to this sort of engagement as the “Interlude”

They are the short recess before the main event. Put there to teach you something valuable. Sometimes, its a test to prepare you for something greater. Be very wise to identify the people who fit into this group. Don’t get blindsided by the attention and lose sight of the reason. Who are you? Why are you here? And how long are you staying?  Many people say “forever”, but are missing in action. Forever is a love thing, not merely like one day and dispose of the next day. Carefully, observe what they bring to the relationship. Do they value you, use you, or are they only doing what benefits them? I’ve had those experiences and it was very heartbreaking, but eye opening.

Many people have come into my life. I would do for them (more than my own family). End up flat on my face when I really needed them the most. I felt like something was wrong with me. I felt used and abandoned (adding more scars to my heart). I thought people didn’t like me. I thought no one cared about me. I thought I was a loser and felt ashamed. People can smile in your face, but talk behind your back. I struggle to trust people. This spilled into romantic relationships, too. I felt unworthy, useless, ugly, and kept my guard up.  (Sometimes a good quality, but when you’re broken you would prefer loneliness instead of happiness).

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If it was not for God, I wouldn’t be able to love. God has given me a new set of lens on love and trust.  As I learned to trust God, I began to trust myself, and trust others. Choosing to live free than held in captive by loneliness. Happiness can change in an instance, but joy, true joy remains lock within you. I don’t ever look for people to approve my existence or love. I am selective in who I surround myself with. Not everyone is for you and not everyone has the best intentions for you. And this can be challenging to decipher. I’m still learning, but I have God walking me through it.

God also asked that I surround myself with people who inspire me to do better (I’m not talking about putting pressure on you or to live up to their expectations, that’s not what builds a friendship). If you notice that you’re the smartest one in the group, then you probably should find new friends. There is nothing wrong with supporting others who experience struggles in life. Don’t get to accustom to their way of thinking or behaving if it is going to distract you from following your destiny. I’ve mentioned many times, God has given us all a purpose to fulfill. There are some people who will come into your life as a distraction. They will pull you down, instead of building you up.

I want to learn from my friends, not settle in mediocrity. Where God wants to take you, many of your friends will not be able to follow. In order to step into what God has for you, you have to let go of them. They have their own lives to lead. You can’t afford to carry dead weight where you’re going. Any time you have to delete, remove, walk away and stop speaking to someone, it won’t be easy. It’s hard to let go, but God has a way of removing them. Let Go and Let God.

“You cannot turn to the next chapters of your life, if you keep rereading the previous pages.”

Let the interlude play its course. Something greater is on the other side. Your interaction with people serves a purpose for both sides of the interactors (if that’s a word. I made it up, but you know what I mean). God will bring the right people into your lives. Those Joshua’s and Caleb’s will be the support and motivation you need to drive you closer into God. Focus on the assignment and life He has for you. The rest of the pieces will fall into place and the right people will walk into your life.

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If you felt encouraged by this post, please like, comment, and share!

Thank you!

10 thoughts on “More than just coffee…”

    1. Yes that’s exactly right. You’re very welcome. I’m still learning to be careful with my surroundings and how i interact with people. I don’t want pride getting he best of me. Just be humble.

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  1. I was smiling like mad while reading this. This is one truth about life or took me time, heartbreaks and a bitter experience to realise. I’m very picky when it comes to the people I surround myself with. I think it’s best to surround yourself with people who help you grow and become a better person, not people who belittle you and force you to live up to their expectations. Or worse, people who do no more than criticise you always.

    Reminds me of one Dr Seuss’ quotes: “”Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So very true! And it is very hurtful, when you realize in the end they only wanted to criticize you. And worst behind your back. It took me years to let go of criticism and just be myself. I’m still learning, but I’ve become a humble person because of these experiences. Oh it would be nice if everyone could be good. Thanks for stopping by.

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  2. Howdy Tiffany, I hope your doing good.

    Do you mean The bible says that we need to guard our hearts?

    I liked it when you said “Don’t attached to people who only wish to remain on the surface, never wanting to search for substance.” mainly because I see to many relationships that stay on surface level and people can never get past “how’s the weather type of thing”. I think it’s sad. Unfortunately I have had to walk away for a couple of friendships that were like this, I knew I needed substance and they other side said they also wanted substance but they had no intention of it. It was hard to walk away but was needed.

    “You cannot turn to the next chapters of your life, if you keep reading the previous pages” – ooooh and amen to that.

    Thanks for sharing. Lots of wisdom there

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    1. Yes the Bible says to guard our hearts. Don’t show your feelings right away. Ask yourself what is the other persons intentions? Sadly, people have other motives they purposefully conceal from you. Be careful, be aware, and ask God to reveal the truth. Wow, this prayer I said and God shown it’s truth immediately. 🙏🏼 Good, Good, Father!

      All is well! I’m sick today, I may take a break from blogging to rest. Plus, I need to finish working on my short story. How have you been?

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  3. Every relationship be it good or bad teaches us something. Took me a long time to open my heart again to people and to relationships. My mother would say to me if your heart is closed how will joy get in + how will happiness enter you… but I get it, to trust is hard.

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