I had another post scheduled for today, but it just didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel a peace about posting it. Then yesterday I realize, or should I say God pointed out something.
After yoga class, my friend mentioned she needed to visit Walmart. I decided to tag along, I did need to pick up some things, too. I’d reminder her, please don’t make me talk so much. I can easily be distracted, forget what to do, what to pick up, or buy something I didn’t need. 😂
Anyway, we started to talk about family. She shared how her boyfriend wants them to live together, but at the moment she is helping family. Primarily her sister and children live with her. They’ve been with her since the divorced. Fast-forward they are in the process of moving out after spending a year or so with her. She finally had a heart to heart discussion with her sister. It was rough, because its family. She says family bonds are important to her and she helps her family a lot. She’d hate to see her sister have to leave, but it was time. Her boyfriend has been patiently waiting, not complaining. In fact, they’ve been a couple for a very long time, both are ready to live together.
I, too would always help my family. Any problem, I’d be the one they called to solve it or pay for it. But it all change last year (or I just got tired of the strain it took on my spirit & body). My relationship with my family is a bit awkward, but I’m learning to forgive. Grace always wins. I’d helped them a lot only to get burned a lot. It really hit hard last year and I’m still in the process of healing. Working through forgiveness, when you’ve felt abandoned by love ones (loads of tears because of anger). It is not easy, but God is showing me how to forgive. I can’t say I enjoy the journey, but I’m set on being free.
Back to our conversation, I told my friend I’ve limited the help I offer my family. The path they’ve chosen to live shouldn’t infringe on my life or be a burden I should carry. There are boundaries I set to keep my family at a distance. I rarely ever ask for anything. My dad always ask if I need anything, he gets concern when I don’t ask. Personally, I keep them at a distance, because they broke the trust. My life is an open book to my friends and other relatives for support. It helps, but I wish I had my mom to lean on. I slowly allow communication to occur with my immediate family. Trust takes time to build. Forgiveness takes time to heal. But I can honestly say, being around them I’m not stepping on egg shells. I know God is holding my hands. I’d squeeze His hand to keep from allowing the negativity to surface. I pray for them without ceasing.
When my friend and I finished shopping, we parted ways. Later when I got home, God adjusted my focus. Wasn’t I in the exact same predicament like my friends sister? When I didn’t have anywhere to live (moving from friends home to the next). I finally found a space with my aunt (this was purely a God incidence). We are roommates, I couldn’t be more grateful for this blessing. I didn’t have a clue last year where I’d be. God had come to my aid. Sending unexpected friends and family to rescue me.
She didn’t hesitate to help. How would I feel if she gave me a limit on my stay? Devastated! We have the best times together, laughing, dancing to worship music, listening to sermons, cooking together, and she’s a great mom. Along with her, I get to hang with my older cousin (her son). These are the parts of the family I wouldn’t spend time with. I was rather a bit a loner in my journey, for many years. Now, I come home to shelter, but a warm love I haven’t felt in a very long time. She’s become a 2nd mother and I am so appreciative of everything God has given me through her.
In it’s entirety, this is a reminder, sometimes we speak out of term about other people’s situations, when we forget we’re in the same scenario. I could have gone down a wrong detour, living on the streets, but God loved me so much to keep me protected. Family bonds are strong due to blood. Which is why it’s difficult to turn your back on them. I know I have a long road ahead to forgiveness, but it is all worth it. I would be very happy knowing at the end of this journey, I helped to win my family to Jesus Christ. Being an example of faith, forgiveness, and gratitude.
Thanks for reading!
The journey isn’t over.
God allows detours to show us the importance of gratitude.
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