After loading the dryer with my freshly clean and damp clothes, I decided to go for a walk. Another cloudy day, it’s been raining a lot, but the air was nice and cool. Quick check was down the street, I could go for a frappuccino.
Standing on the corner, I noticed a car turning the same time a woman was crossing the street. With the top down, the gentleman lean on the side of the door was staring at the woman. He reduced his speed to catcall, “Hey beautiful, what’s wrong?” He was referring to her facial expression (yes, she didn’t have a mask on), it was stone cold serious. He tried to grab her attention to no avail. He kept trying though, lol! She ignored his advances and continued on her way. When she drew near to my location, she says, “Talk to her, not me”. Huh? How did I get caught up in this? LOL!
I replayed the scenario over in my head. What was weirder? The driver trying to pick up a woman he almost hit or her response using me as a scapegoat. I know the expression all to well. It’s a defense mechanism which means, “I don’t have time for your foolishness. I don’t have time for this.” Ideally, its somewhat of a guard. She didn’t need to use me as an excuse to not talk to him. No response is just as effective.
The guy didn’t respect her space and the setup was all wrong. Why would she stop in the middle of the street to talk to him? He almost hit her. I thought this guy is unreal. She wasn’t into him, nor what he was trying to do. She had ever right not to give him attention. He was impatient with her crossing the street, crowding her space.
Communication and competency. Two areas of difficulty when dating or even just approaching someone we’re attracted, too. In this era, the level of communication results in texting, emojis, and selfies. We have somewhat master competency in that fashion. Verbal communication is slowly declining, small talk is terrifyingly awkward. I get it. Then again, there is nothing wrong with saying hi to a guy or girl. Simple and safe. It doesn’t cost anything. Many times, we will shut down a guy before he even utters a word. Trust me when I say, men have expressed how hard it is to approach women. Thus, women we ask ourselves, “why don’t guys approach me?” Some can bad apples spoil the bunch.
The bible does say “Guard your heart”, but it doesn’t say to scar others in return. We can be caution without being aggressive. We can be direct without being aggressive. We can have standards without being aggressive and legalistic.
I believe we have to give men the opportunity to approach. (Of course, in the story I mentioned earlier this dude made a poor move.) First impressions are always the hardest. The fact is, when a man builds up the confidence to approach, meet him halfway. Hear what they have to say first and I do mean listen. Forget about thinking of a rebuttal. Listen and respond accordingly. You can decline in a kind way without bruising them. Men, please don’t get bend out of shape if the woman declines. No one likes rejection, but it could be God’s protection. God is your guardian and your guide.